Chasing Nuts

• Any PostgreSQL folks going to FOSSCamp in a few weeks? If so I will see you there. #
• Is this thing on? #
• Had an outstanding time at Backstreet Detroit last night, I can’t remember seeing it so packed ever. #
• Crab cakes and broccoli for dinner last night and now omelets for breakfast, I do need to cook more. #

• Back to work after a fun weekend in Chicago. The trim guy is suppose to come look at my 2nd floor at 9am. House almost done! #
• At the gym for a quick cardio. #
• excited that I will be seeing 007 tonight #
• Just finished watching Bond and loved the movie #
• Busy on the agenda today: gym, breakfast, glass shopping, painting and out to a bar I have never been to tonight. #
• Just had an eye exam and turns out my vision is not 100
  % perfect #
• About to drop $350 on an amazing pair of glasses. #

I recived this in my inbox this morning and it made me laugh:

A Letter To The Red States

Dear Red States…

We’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren’t aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss.  We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don’t care if you
don’t show pictures of their children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we’re not willing to spend our resources in Bush’s Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country’s fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95 percent of America’s quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we’re taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

• My date this weekend lasted 30 hous, I think we hit it off #
• At the MUG meeting and going to listen to Richard Johnson:
  http://ping.fm/INHMP #
• I think ‘iostat -cdmtx 10 999999′ is my favorite command to run on the database server. #
• my Twitterank is 14.08! http://twitterank.com/?u=aaronthul #
• Just purchased my plain ticket to SFO for FOSSCamp and UDS if my work schedule permits. #
• Driving through Indiana on my way wo Wyndicon. #
• On my way home from a great weekend in chicago. #

Here is how the game is played, followed by my entry.

• Grab the nearest book.
• Open it to page 56.
• Find the fifth sentence.
• Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
• Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

“Sometimes in his hands.” -Mainspring, Jay Lake